NECESSIDADES BÁSICAS

NECESSIDADES BÁSICAS


-Dude, can you help me?
-I don’t have money. But just help me,
it’s fast… Celso? Fabiano!
My friend! Damn! Nice, my friend Fabiano,
it’s you! Cool, how are you, my friend?
Shake my hand, it isn’t dirty. Nice, that’s cool, my friend. Dude, what happened? What do you mean? Have you become a beggar? What?
beggar? Are you crazy? Just because I asked
for your help? I’m not a beggar. Help? Help is money, right? No, I didn’t ask you for money. I was going to ask you to take
the cable out of the Wi-Fi router to plug it in my computer. Wait. There’s a cable,
a computer… -Even beggars have computers?
-Of course. This computer is awesome,
it’s flying! 500mb. But you don’t have
a place to live and you have
a 500 MB internet plan? I just have this 500 MB plan
because I came to live here. Really? You sold your house to
get a 500 MB internet plan? No, are you crazy?
Of course not. I sold my house to get
the 300 MB plan, then I got an upgrade
with some friends to 500 MB, but in exchange for 2 kidneys. No…
Don’t say this… You sold your kidney? No, not mine, When I was a teenager
I had a bacteria in my kidney, now only one works,
and not that well. I sold Jussara’s and her mother’s
kidneys. There they are. This is crazy!
What is this life? But how do you think
I’d get this internet? If I was living in that
building I wouldn’t get anything
above 15 MB. And is it much different? Are you kidding me?
You’re a real noob. Take a look, you click and enter, freaking
Google loads in 2 seconds. Mine loads in 2 seconds too. I doubt it,
do you have 500 MB? -No, mine is 15.
-15 Gigabytes? -15 Megabytes.
-15 Megabytes? -Yes.
-And can you watch series there? Yes, I watch
a lot of series. -No, you don’t.
-I watch series all day. So I’ll ask you a question
about a series and you’ll answer. -Do it.
-Alright, I’ll ask him. Who died on the last episode
of Game of Thrones? -Ramsay Bolton.
-Son of a bitch! Giving spoilers! You asked me,
I thought you had seen it. I know, but when I was
watching it yesterday, my internet stopped working. Isn’t your internet the best? It is, but Jeremias
is using my Wi-Fi. Who’s Jeremias? It’s that spirit from darkness! You shitty camper! Go shoot in hell,
mother fucker! Do you get why I asked you
to help me with the cable? Excuse me,
can you help me send an e-mail? Sorry, I’m in a hurry. Just show me where
the Shift button is. I can’t. -Sir, sir…
-I don’t have change. just help me use
an antivirus, please. -I can’t.
-I have 2 grandsons. Sir, can you make me
a Facebook account? It can be Google Plus.

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