We Are Not The Same Person

We Are Not The Same Person


DANNY: What’s up, Greg, there’s a very special announcement at the end of this video. So make sure you stick around to see it. Alright guys. Well, I hope you enjoyed this video. I’ll see you guys next time where I eat all my fingers and toes and cry for three years. Bye! Alright. Gosh, I love being a YouTuber. I get to just hang around all day making videos, making people laugh. It really is a pretty good gig. But my favorite part is that everyone sees me as a unique individual with my own style and sense of humor! Alright, well, time to post this video! And post! Oh a new comment. Let’s see what it is! Oh not again… No… NO! Hey! THE DEMON NUTCRACKER: Yes Master. DANNY: I’m taking a trip. Pack my bags. DN: You don’t own any bags, sir. DANNY: Fair enough. Then prepare my car. DN: Yes Master. DANNY: Now it’s time to-
DN: Wait, what do you mean prepare your car? DANNY: What?
DN: Like, what preparing would it need? Why would it not already be ready to go? DANNY: Just like… Open the door? I don’t know.
DN: I’m on it. DANNY: Perfect. Florida… Here I come. *intense music* DREW: Danny? DANNY: I have to show you something. DREW: You could have just texted me. DANNY: You have a phone? DREW: Yeah, you want to come in?
DANNY: Do you have any juice? DREW: Yeah, I could- I could get you some juice. DANNY: Okay.
DREW: Okay? DANNY: Wait, do you wanna move this light? DREW: Oh. Yeah, sorry about that. DREW: The only juice we have a lemon juice, so I don’t know- DANNY: That’s fine. DREW: Uh, so what you want to show me? DANNY: I don’t know. I just… I’ve been getting all these comments lately on my YouTube channel, And usually I try to ignore them, but there’s just so many. Every time I post a new video, It’s like: “This guy looks exactly like Drew Gooden. Woahh” “this guy talks exactly like Drew Gooden” “Drew and Danny are the same person taking on a different persona to get double the sponsors. Their girlfriends are also the same person.” DREW: Well, that’s not even true at all. She’s my wife. DANNY: Yeah. She’s my wife. DREW: Holy shit, Danny, This is insane. DANNY: Yeah.
DREW: Cuz I get these comments too all the time! DANNY: You do?
DREW: Yeah. Dude, look: “Notifications on now, I’m truly Greg!” “Please give me a shout-out I am the truest greg” “great video, Danny Gonzalez!” “Wow, Danny Gonzalez made a really good video this time” “still waiting for my drew and Danny sex tape” DANNY: Well, that one doesn’t really have anything to do with us being the same person does it? DREW: No, I just… I just wanted you to hear it. DANNY: Actually, I don’t even see that on your screen. DREW: Well, that’s cuz I deleted it… cuz I hate it… and I hate you! DANNY: Hey! Easy! DREW: Sorry, I-I’m just so frustrated! Everyone thinks we’re the same person! DANNY: Yeah! Just because we look the same, DREW: And sound the same, DANNY: And think the same, DREW: And talk the same, DREW/DANNY: And smell the same, And act the same, And are the same person, I mean, not the same person, Doesn’t mean we’re the same person. DREW: Yeah!
DANNY: Yeah. DREW: Well, we got to do something about this! DANNY: Yeah! And I don’t know about you, but we got to do something about this! And I got just the thing… DREW/DANNY: Wanna make a music video? DANNY: Yes. Exactly. DREW: Well, Let’s go shoot this bitch! DANNY: Wait, but Drew! DREW: What? DANNY: Can you move the light again? DREW: I am Drew, DANNY: I am Danny, DREW/DANNY: And we are not the same person! We may have similar lives. We may have similar wives. But we are different nonetheless. And if you took the time to get to know us, For a minute, DREW: You’d see that I’m Drew, DANNY: And I am Danny, DREW: Yes, I am Drew, DANNY: And I am Danny. DREW: My hair is brown. DANNY: My hair is hazel. DREW/DANNY: Look at our faces. Look at our nasals. Why can’t you see all the differences that I do? DANNY: My eyes are baby blue. DREW: My eyes are a different shade of baby blue. DANNY: People say our videos are similar just cuz we both make videos DREW/DANNY: ‘Bout Lele Pons, Logan Paul, TikTok cringe, bad life hacks, Instagram comedians. DANNY: People say we copy and agree a lot. DREW: I don’t see it. DANNY: Yeah, me neither. DREW: Dreaming of a day that the commentary genre will be all mine, mine, all mine, DANNY: And I’m dreaming of a day people won’t think I am the Road Work guy from the Road Work Vine. DREW: I am Drew, DANNY: I am Danny, DREW/DANNY: And we are not the same person. We may have similar lives. We may have similar wives, but we are different nonetheless. And if you took the time to get to know us, for a minute, DREW: You’d see that I’m Drew, DANNY: And I am Danny, DREW: And I am Danny, DANNY: And I am Danny. DREW: Why does nobody talk about how hard it is to be a skinny white guy on the Internet? DANNY: Why are there so many white guys on the Internet? DREW: Can someone DREW/DANNY: Get all these white guys off the internet? DREW: Except for me. DANNY: And me. DREW: People think I copied Danny’s videos. DANNY: People think I copy Drew’s videos. DREW: Why can’t you get we don’t copy each other’s videos? DREW/DANNY: We copy Cody Ko’s. DANNY: Dreaming of a day when I don’t hear people say I’m a knock-off Drew, knock-off Drew. DREW: Dreaming of a day when you die in a fire, and I get all your subscribers. DANNY: What? DREW: I am Drew, DANNY: I am Danny, DREW/DANNY: And we are not the same person. We may have similar lives, We may have similar wives, but we are different nonetheless. And if you took the time to get to know us, For a minute, DREW: You’d see that I’m Drew, DANNY: I am Danny, GROOT: I am Groot. DREW: Whoa, where the fuck did that come from?
DREW: Yeah. What the fuck was that? DANNY: Hey, cool jacket. DREW: Cool jacket. DANNY: We both got cool jackets. DREW: Yeah, we do. DANNY: We should do something with these cool jackets. DREW: Oh I got an idea! DANNY: Okay… DREW: What if we wore these jackets every night for six weeks across the country? DANNY: Oh, and perform a live comedy show at different venues? DREW: As long as we can wear the jackets. DANNY: That sounds good to me. DREW: Let’s do it. DANNY: Guys, we’re going on tour.
DREW: Across the country baby! DANNY: Mm-hmm, jackets and all! DANNY: It’s gonna be me, Danny Gonzalez, DREW: Me, Drew Gooden, DANNY: And special guest Kurtis Conner. Here’s a special word from Kurtis: KURTIS: Hey guys. I am super excited to be going on tour with Da- DANNY: That’s enough Kurtis. We’re going to these cities, These are the ones that we have announced already. So if you live near here and you want to come, get your tickets. If you don’t live near one of these cities, and you still want to come, don’t worry. We’re gonna be announcing more cities as we figure out the logistics of the dates after these cities. But if you do live near one of these cities, make sure you get your tickets fast, because these are theaters with a limited number of seats. So once they sell out, they can’t have more people come in. We asked if people could sit on each other’s laps, and they said no. DREW: No. It’s a fire hazard. DANNY: Mhmm.
DREW: Especially if the person sitting on your lap is on fire. DANNY: Drew and I have been working on this show for, like, five months now. We’ve been writing it, We’ve been Filming bits that will go into the show, And it’s evolved into something that I think we’re both really proud of. We put a lot of work into this because we want it to be something that is really special to us. DREW: I feel like it perfectly kind of captures like our sense of humor. It’s a type of show we would want to see, And we wanted to make it something that if we saw a show we would be impressed by, like, the production of it. DANNY: It’s gonna be a series of songs. DREW: Like this one one. DANNY: Like the one you just saw, that’s actually the opener to the show. DREW: Kinda sets up the premise. DANNY: If you come see the show, you’ll already know the words to one song. DREW: Yeah, you can sing along. We’ll be singing along. DANNY: And- and so, why not everyone else too?
DREW: Yeah, why not everyone else in the room? Danny: Yeah.
DREW: The security guys are gonna know the words. Will you? DANNY: There’s gonna be songs. There’s gonna be sketches. There’s gonna be little bits that we’ve already recorded that we’ve been working on all this time. DREW: I think it’s safe to say it’s gonna be a lot of fun. DANNY: I think it’s gonna be lit, is what I think. DREW: Mmm, I don’t know if I think that. DANNY: Okay.
DREW: Or would say that even if I did think that. DANNY: We’re really excited cuz we both never done anything like this before, And we’re- we’re really excited to share with you guys. We also just did a video on Drew’s channel where we also announced the tour, But there’s funny stuff before that. DREW: That has nothing to do with the tour and will make you not want to get to the end… Where the announcement takes place. DANNY: So go ahead and check out Drew’s video on his channel as well and subscribe. DANNY: That way you subscribe to both of us.
DREW: Yes! DREW: Yes!
DANNY: So if we post updates about the tour, you will get them twice. DREW: Yeah.
DANNY: All right. Well, thanks for watching this video. If you’re not already Greg, make sure you subscribe and turn on my notifications to join Greg. I’m sure this video of us announcing a tour has made you want to subscribe. DREW: Yeah. DANNY: I’ll see you guys next time with a really interesting video where I dance in the middle of a very busy street and somehow, miraculously Keep narrowly avoiding getting hit by cars. DREW: Impressive.
DANNY: Bye! (“This Video Is Over Now” plays)
Captions by Paxolotls

100 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *